O How I Am Wicked... But There Is Hope For Me

When I wanted to use my hands for evil
My Lord held them tight never letting go
When I wanted to use my tongue to curse and destroy
He bound my tongue saying, "This isn't for you son of the light."
He kept me from my fleshly desires
He kept me from acting in anger and deathly judgment
God truly knows what is good for me
If it weren't for Him I would be a wicked man
I can't even speak of the things I would do
For they are truly atrocious and dishonor our God
I've been bought with the blood of the lamb
How sweet my freedom is
No longer am I bound to death
I will never experience it
Though my body will break down and die my spirit will live forever 
with the Father



I cried out to the Lord in my anger yelling, "Let the wicked fall! Let judgment sweep over them! May they feel my wraith! Let me loose Lord! I want this done now! I cannot wait for your judgment! I am apart from it! Least you act now it will be me! Can you not use me as your right hand? Let me cures the wicked and crush them with anger."
But my Lord denied me.
He would not allow it.
For I was a man acting out of hellish rage
This was not righteousness
It was not holiness
He has called me to greater things
My old self longs to live
He fights constantly to consume my new self
He hates all that I am
He is vigorous in his death
And a shadow upon my face
I will never let him loose again
O how the Lord let's me see my evil ways
I do not wish to see my judgment poured out
For it would be ugly lacking all holiness
I now see that God is the only one who can do so with holiness and righteousness
Lord forgive me for my foolishness
Help me be holy as you are holy
Let all that I am praise the Lord
Praise the Lord!