“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.” - Thomas Merton
I love these words of Thomas Merton, “I have no idea where I'm going.” But I trust you. That is the very place I've been this last year. Feeling almost like I was drifting, going in no particular direction, all the while trying to trust that God had a plan and I’m not drifting needlessly. I think, when I look at it, it all really boils down to trust. Do I trust God? Do I trust that He's taking care of me and guiding me in my daily life? Sadly, I think the honest answer is I don't. I don't trust Him. So I worry and scheme and try to plan my way to my promised future. Much like the Israelites when they escaped Egypt, I have lost sight of God and I try to forge my own way. When all He wants me to do is wait on Him and find joy in His presence.
Sometimes I don't know where I'm going. I have dreams and desires, but the path to them isn't clear. It's foggy and filled with my own uncertainty.
Abba, help me to trust in You. A thing that I have trouble doing. Trust is hard for me. Putting my heart out there is hard for me. Help me to dare to dream big with You again. Help me to take joy in You. Help me to rest in You laying my fears and insecurities by the wayside. Let me rest in Your sweet love.
I do have hope. Like Merton, “I believe that the desire to please you(God) does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.” This is for all of you who feel a little lost on your journey with God. Sometimes our path is clear as day and sometimes it is shrouded in fog and uncertainty. But as long as our desire is to serve and please God we can’t really get to off course. I pray today you are encouraged. I pray that the lies you’ve been believing would be silenced and that you would clearly see your position in Christ. You’ve been made right with God and He is a very proud papa.
To conclude this blog post click the link(or just scroll down) and read my last poem. It ties in perfectly with this.
http://downloadsfromthefather.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-hope-in-night.html
